Set sail, little boats

Arrived

i walk into the institution

mugshot clipped, dangling from my shirt

"i belong here now"

no one questions anymore

i walk straight, past one elevator and

older men wheeling back and forth

waiting impatiently, I ride up

the doors open and I enter my new home

a special home for special people

so many keys for doors and drawers

keep them with me for no one answers but me

i am on my own now

rolling my cart like a new driver

i enter my first room, a symphony of sound

pumping, beeping, coughing, gurgling

the t.v. tunneling in the outside world

a reminder of normal lives and not-so-special people

its silence uncomfortable as I set up my music

caricatures of children I would imagine

aliens, creatures of the forest or space or water

i dont know, but i know they are alive

at home, splayed across my bed

i watched my cat play with her purple octopus

split open, jingle-less, irresistible

i speak to her sincerely

can she possibly understand a word, a tone?

she flicks her tail, i think yes

i shudder at the thought

of comparing a furry grey cat to a silenced child

i am too white for my own good

but i find sense and comfort

i love my cat and i know she loves me

i know she feels safe at home

we do not speak the same

but i know something passes through, both

we are alive and connected

in this thought, i find a way in

to see this group of beings, sentient, sensational

striving to reach out

i don't know what i am doing

bubbles and touch and forced brushes

music and one-sided narration

this is my offering, half baked

but i can say, i am here, and i will come back

you exist for me

you are alive, and for that, i am here

i belong here as you do

in our own roles, but dependent

needing both to make this home work

i don't know the meaning, nor a destination

but i am letting both sail like paper boats

what does it matter for whom and why

just being alive is enough of a reason.